and your little dog too!
by Mirlle
Summary: Andrew POV: Why did Andrew decide to attack the school play? Read on, find out and be amazed!


Disclaimer: Andrew and the demon monkeys belong to Joss Whedon, more's the pity, therefore I own them not as the two are mutually exclusive. There might be a little bit of the Wizard of Oz and some Molly Ringwald in there too…but who cares. Go on, sue me, it'll be funny!

This disgrace of a story was a response to the Monkeybusiness Challenge on TTH, which requested an Andrew POV story dealing with his attack on the school play.

This is my response.

**…and your little dog too!**

ooo

_March 19th_

Dear Diary,

Have decided to take over the world. It was a most glorious idea that came to me whilst being given a swirly by the chess club. Darn those bullies and their freakishly strong wrists!

ooo

_March 21st_

Have set most glorious plan into action! There's no way this can fail! Have drawn up colour co-ordinated, laminated plan and posted it on the internet. Perhaps ought to begin recruiting minions?

ooo

_March 22nd_

Am experiencing slight set-backs.

Tucker has found out about most ingenious plan! Says that it's going to fail. Says he's been planning something way better. Says his plan will be ready by Prom! He says the Slayer won't even know what hit her!

Has also stolen my copy of _Pretty in Pink_! Am confused by this.

ooo

_March 24th_

Am missing Molly Ringwald, and wondering exactly what Tucker is doing, locked up in the basement with all those pictures of the Brat Pack. Surely there are only so many times you can watch _Sixteen Candles_ before it starts to grate?

On the upside, have procured five demon monkey eggs on e-bay…was nearly outbid by some gnome, but retained upper hand in the end.

Bow down before me for I am Andrew, King of the Auction!

ooo

_March 25th_

Finished translating the _Lord of the Rings_ into Klingon and am about to start on the _Simarillion_

ooo

_March 25th – slightly later_

Curses!

Have just received word from the school drama club that my futuristic adaptation of _A Merchant of Venice_ has been declined. Apparently, nobody cares about Darth Shylock, - Jedi accountant who succumbed to the Dark Side.

Instead, they're putting on _Romeo and Juliet_.

Will have revenge! This is the perfect outlet for those demon monkey eggs. Yes! Am clearly a genius of dastardly proportions! Must go now as mom is shouting about having light on after bed time. More tomorrow.

ooo

_April 3rd_

Demon monkeys have hatched and are proving most uncooperative. Training turns out to be more of a difficulty than previously anticipated. All they seem to want to do is hang off my bedroom light whilst drinking a cool refreshing Zima. Am starting to think that Tucker's obsession for cheesy films has branched out. Walked past the basement earlier and could have sworn I heard hell hounds baying along to _Saturday Night Fever_. Just what in tarnation is going on down there?

ooo

_April 4th_

Tried to sneak into basement and ascertain Tuckers plan. Was unfortunately captured and beaten repeatedly about the head with a limited edition Luke Skywalker figurine. Will never forgive him for this – Mark Hamilton is now slightly less attractive as his right arm has come off,

ooo

_April 5th_

Have suggested to Tucker that he try out for school play. He seems most taken with this idea. Mwuahahahaha, shall have my revenge yet!

PS. Am thinking that six exclamation marks are perhaps overdoing it a bit. Will work way up to four and see where to go from there.

ooo

_April 9th_

Slight set back. Am experiencing some trouble training demon monkeys. Have now stopped sitting with hands over eyes, ears, mouth and bellybutton, but have instead managed to get hold of typewriters and are banging away day and night. Old adage apparently not true, monkeys continuously fail to write even first line of _Hamlet_, but have instead written out entire text of _Spot the Dog_ fifteen times over. Is this significant?

ooo

_April 12th_

Tucker has got role of Mercutio in school play. Will pay particular attention to role when reading to demon monkeys tonight.

ooo

_April 13th_

Stupid monkeys keep touching magic bone borrowed from Jonathan. Not sure what to do with it, as smells funny and is covered in spit.

ooo

_April 15th_

Have progressed to visual training of monkeys. Have devised computer animation of play, with Tucker's face superimposed on all characters. Nevertheless, monkeys seem unnaturally attracted to Romeo. On hindsight, probably a mistake to show them Baz Luhrman's adaptation.

ooo

_April 28th_

Have been very busy training monkeys. Ready for opening night of play tomorrow. Tucker keeps prancing about in his costume, think monkeys are out for blood. Am looking forward to no longer having to share bed with demonic fiends – think they might have fleas.

ooo

_April 29th  
_

Demon monkeys total success. Managed to chew halfway through backdrop by end of second act and peed all over drama teacher's lunchbox. Witnessed reverberating screams of "Run Juliet, Run."

Not sure what happened to Tucker, but saw him limping hours later, muttering something about being violated. That'll teach him to steal my hot-pockets.

On down side, Slayer never even made an appearance, instead monkeys lured into animal control van by life-sized Leonardo di Caprio cut-outs.

Nevertheless, think night was complete success. Taken out for celebratory soda by Warren and Jonathan. Think they might be ready to proclaim me Grand Leader, but don't want to push them into it.

ooo

_April 31st_

Prom tomorrow. Have very snazzy Tux all ready. Can't wait.

ooo


End file.
